


Slime balls

by pyropinkfish



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Minecraft, Gen, M/M, Not Beta Read, RageHappy, inappropriate usage of slimeball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 05:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3516713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyropinkfish/pseuds/pyropinkfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I like to imagine the Minecraft world has a lot of things that could be used for modern purposes that most people wouldn't think about, but when the boys describe Slime as a wet slapping sound, then the thought about what you could use a slime ball for came to mine. Generally they're useless- or are they? Gavin wants to know the answers to these hard questions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slime balls

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I did not get a beta to read this, nor did I do my own proof reading. I apologize for the many grammatical and spelling mistakes. There's bound to be plenty.   
> Also the second ragehappy fic I've finished? I'm aiming to write one for each Gav pair in the main AH, I'm not really sure why? 
> 
> Forgive me for mistakes, for the prompt, for breathing air, etc etc etc. If god loves me I won't have to have the crippling fear of RTAH people actually finding this.

“Hey, Michael...” 

Normally anytime Gavin started anything with the drawn out “i” in his name, Michael knew he was going to regret responding to him. He still let his pickaxe lower and spared a glance to his best friend, waiting for the other to continue with his no doubt stupid question, one that was sure to piss him off in some way. Worse even because he couldn’t risk hitting him off the edge to respawn elsewhere when they were as deep in some cave as they were now looking for important ore.

“...You think slime balls would make good lube?” 

There it was. Michael groaned in response, not even wanting to try to think about the creepy wet slap of the creatures hopping around being anywhere near his dick. Something that wet, cold, and slimy was not something he wanted on his dick or in his ass. Or generally even close to him. 

“Gavin. Shut the fuck up.” 

\--

Gavin didn’t stop thinking about his question. It all started when he got into a struggle with a Slime and it broke into the gooey ball guts about a week ago. He had collected it in his knapsack and realized that it was warm from being near the lava. It made him think of the oil the lot of them in Achievement City liked to use for private times. Only it didn’t actually leave a residue on his fingers. It was giving, squishy, wet, yeah, but it wasn’t making his skin feel oily. 

So of course he couldn’t help but keep pondering. He asked Michael what he thought and got a negative reaction, but really, what if it was so much better? Then again, it could seriously hurt him. Which made him hover towards the only one with smarts about poisons and potions. If anyone knew if Slimes had some weird toxin inside them or not, it would be Ryan. The problem was when Gavin was nervous about something it was obvious. 

The lad wasn’t good at hiding how he fidgeted and quickly offered to help the resident “Mad King” for a slaughter-pig-run. Especially when it was already suspicious of his intentions when he was so bloody terrible at slaughtering animals for their meat. Eventually, Ryan sighed loud and stabbed a pig with his sword, leaving it there in favor of turning to the lad, who was determined to shear a sheep for it’s wool. The blonde arched an eyebrow at the younger as soon as he had noticed him staring. Gavin squawked. 

“What’s wrong, Gavin?” It wasn’t a very genuine sounding tone, but an already fed up grunt. 

“Would you take gold if you had to use Slime as lube?” Don’t be awkward, Gavin thought, his mouth opening and out coming a stupid question. Then again, when he was around Ryan, he always seemed to flub up his words just as bad as the intelligent king. Thus the only way he could ask something was to be awkward. Extremely awkward. That kind of awkward that made him want to dig a hole and just bury himself in it. 

“It depends… Are we talking gold blocks or nuggets? More importantly. How much gold and to what extent do I have to use it as lube?” Ryan fired off more questions than Gavin’s mind could even process. He tried hard to answer them, giving responses short and sweet like ‘blocks’, ‘a Tower of Pimps worth’. Eventually it was decided that Ryan would get fifty blocks worth of gold if he replaced oil for any sexual purpose with slime any time he wanted to use it, unable to substitute anything else for the slime.

“Hmm.” A drawn out and thoughtful sigh never had Gavin’s heart racing. “Yeah, probably. Only if you’re gonna actually give me the gold.” 

“Wot? You dope, I don’t have fifty blocks of gold!”

“Stop asking questions when you can’t back it up if I say yes!” 

\--

The conclusion Ryan would use Slime as a lube substitute and Michael would not didn’t actually clarify anything for Gavin. He still had questions, worse was the thoughts. Slime were inherently scary, creepy, and made the wet slap noises that made your stomach just empty. Killing them however, left the harmless remains that were pretty helpful for fire resistant potions. Surely they couldn’t be all that bad? 

Gavin laid with his eyes glued to the cobblestone ceiling of his house, the bed like a hard rock under him and god, he just couldn’t stop weighing the pros and cons. What if his dick got some weird disease and they couldn’t fix it, all because he stuck it in some slime remains? Or it ending up like glue and sticking his hand to his dick with friction and heat. Then what would he do with his hand stuck to his dick?

Tired of laying, but with the sun in no way close to rising, Gavin decided to get up. He stretched his legs out, shaking the energy from him. The idea of possibly going underground in his Nice Dynamite tunnel to run came to him but was discarded on the possibility of waking Michael up. Leaving the troubling knowledge he had nothing to do at night when he couldn’t leave his house. Downtown Achievement City might have lighting, but it didn’t keep the zombies, skeletons, spiders, and creepers away. Even if he could half ass speak creeper and pass as one, one wrong move and the creatures were easily startled into blowing everything up. 

If he caused the under layer to explore and made everyone respawn god only knows where, he would never hear the end of it. 

With no ideas in mind, the lad sat back down and glared at a painting within his sight. He did this all up until his eyes felt heavy enough to fall asleep. His dreams were plagued with the imaginary feeling of the wet jello-y warmth on his dick, sucking and smothering until it absorbed every drop of his cum, mixing with the green color. 

\--

In the morning, Geoff’s loud cry to get up caused the lad to stir. He groaned miserably, rubbing at his eyes as he swung his feet to the floor and stood up. The horror struck when he went to change and found his underwear coated to his skin. He bloody came in his sleep! Frustrated beyond a doubt, Gavin forced himself to change. Dawning his creeper skins and scarves and bag, he managed to pull himself together just long enough to step outside into the fresh air. It was too bright and the late night glaring at paintings did nothing to help how badly the sun hurt his eyes. It certainly didn’t improve his mood. 

“Geez, buddy, didn’t sleep last night?” Geoff caught a glimpse at the brunette and shuffled over to put a hand on his shoulder. Gavin groaned softly and waved him off, muttering that he was fine. 

“Tired from all that slime ball fucking, huh boi?” Michael’s voice sang song teased, causing Gavin’s face to liven with crimson in his cheeks. It contrasted in a cliche Christmas way with how much green he wore. 

“Michael!” Great. It gnawed on him that he could have moaned stupidly loud in his sleep or something and the tunnel connecting their house picked it up. His boi or not, Gavin didn’t want Michael to know about his wet dreams. 

“You use Slime to masturbate?” Jack snorted, generally curious yet still amused by the lad’s creativity. 

“No! I just asked Michael-” How could he defend himself when the others had the nasty habit of baiting him to say the wrong thing for his case? 

“Hey, no shame in it, Gavvy.” Geoff did that stupid baby voice as he pinched his cheek, only spurring more embarrassment and frustrated bird noises. 

“I do it too, it’s the best feeling around your dick.” Ray’s voice out of the bunch startled Gavin into staring at him, mouth agape. The darker skinned lad flashed a toothy grin and rolled his shoulders, the cape he wore sliding off them with the motion. “Yeah, it warms up fast and it only sticks to itself. You guys are missing out by not doing it.” 

“When did you…?” Gavin asked, genuinely taken by surprise with this tibet of information. 

“Like forever ago man, seriously. Don’t worry, I know all the tricks if you want to know how to make it smell better too.” Ray winked at him and Gavin couldn’t stop how red his face got, scrubbing at his cheeks until Geoff’s disgruntled voice called for them to get focused on the game they were doing for the day. Not that Ray and Gavin’s masturbation life wasn’t interesting or anything, but they did have a goal to collect iron that day.


End file.
